Get a clue, MIZZOU! (a rant)

Do I need to continue? I mean, that title pretty much says it all. That egotistical state just east of God's country has a certain stench that reaches the pan handle, and that stench is called 'overrated'. A very familiar term they are used to year after year.

2007 was a decent year for them. According to some Tiger fans, twas their best ever. They were 12-2 that year. Not bad really. They competed for their 1st ever conference championship...and lost.

Then came 2008. Again, a decent year (for Missouri that is) going 10-4. And yet again, losing their conference championship. It's really a toss up between watching Missouri lose a Big 12 championship or Nebraska winning one. Don't know which I like (love) watching more. Well I'd take Missouri's standard of 'good year' seasons over losing by a point in a championship game any day. At least I'd get a good laugh.

Of course, this is pretty much aimed at the Tiger fan base than the actual team. The fan base is one that can make you want to shoot anyone wearing black and gold...sometimes mistaking them for Hawkeye fans. "Sorry, didn't see that bird on your shirt...thought it was a Tiger."

"Happens all the time. No harm. Which way to the emergency room?"

(Here's the rant)

Mizzou fans are crazy and delusional. This year, they're complaining (as well as their team) that they're getting disrespected for not being picked to win the North. You lost to Baylor and Navy for crying out loud! You went 8-5 last year. That really doesn't reflect a good team coming back this year. Yeah, you got a couple of Gabberts. Too bad they're as overrated as the rest of your team. Your no-national-championship-no-big-twelve-championship team. Oh, sorry. Those 2 North trophies taking up too much room in the display? Well it is a 4 x 5 inch space inside the girls locker room. That happens sometimes. Talk to me when you win...something.

Ok, I'm better now.

Undefeated?

October 16th, 2010. I believe everyone since last December's Big 12 championship game has circled that particular date. There is even a website (redaroundtheworld.com) that has fueled the fire around that time. Everyone will be calling and trying to get tickets for that mid October bash. Prices will be soaring into the 300-500 dollar range for these tickets. Texas mayhem will hit Husker nation hard for what may be the biggest game of the year, as some TV annalists and sports writers have been saying (and wanting).

Yes, that day will be Texas vs Nebraska. But an undefeated Nebraska? Or an undefeated Texas?

Don't get me wrong, beating Texas would be awesome. I will be tickled Husker red in laughing at what excuse Mack Brown would say for a loss of this nature. But what would each other's record be by October 16th? We, of course, have a clash with an up and rising Washington team with a Heisman candidate at QB. And Texas, the week before, will have Oklahoma to take care of before heading to Lincoln. Not to mention a couple of games with Texas Tech and UCLA before that. We also have to deal with K-State on a Thursday night in Manhattan. Last I recall, we don't do well at night in the Little Apple for some reason.

Now I'm a faithful Husker football follower. I have high hopes about our team every year, especially this year. How couldn't anyone? A top ten pre-season ranking, an experienced offensive and defensive line, and a pro-like secondary that has NFL scouts drooling. Our season should be fine if we keep our focus and not just be ready for Texas.

Circling Texas and possibly winning will not save our season. Not with teams out to make our final Big 12 season a nightmare and a 'good riddance' statement. Missouri has already started running their 'wannabe a dynasty' mouth saying their "better without us". Kansas, on the other hand, begged us to stay. Those games should be as big, if not bigger for Big 12 North supremacy later on in the season.

So let's not get caught up in "October 16th" hype and start stroking Texas' already huge ego even more. We, as Husker fans, are soooo much better than that.

Plus, we don't hold up a "worship Satan" hand gesture as a cheer.

Thank you, 2007. Thank you very much.

As an avid Husker fan like you, I'm sure you catch yourself every year thinking we're gonna win the Big 12/Nat'l Championship. And why not? As a Husker fan, you SHOULD think that just like any other fan cheering for their favorite team. You have a lot of faith and high expectations you expect your team to reach year after year....only to get proven wrong (almost) every year.

Now, of course not every year is disappointing. The 60's all the way to the 90's, we were used to expecting to contend for a National Championship year in and year out. Tom Osborne spoiled us and made us expect to win every year. Why not? We were dominating teams that were proclaimed a "power house" team, only to be taken to the wood shed.

But, ever since the the 2 headed monster era, our expectations were to just get out alive. Stuart Mandel of cnnsi.com wrote an article how he felt bad for Husker fans having their expectations lowered to just a good game, not caring if we came out winning or not. Yes, even the sports writers knew something was wrong with Husker Nation.

The actual year this all started dates back 3 years, 2007. Yes, the year every one of us try to block out. Just the mention of that QB we had and that 'coach' just makes me want to smash my face against a wall full of nails.

Sure, if you talked to me before the 2007 season, I was just like you. I was caught up in Keller hype. C'mon, this guy has pro scouts drooling over him and he's got plenty of QB experience. Plus, this is the year Callahan (my face hurts) has a shot and prove he's the coach we want him to be. This is the YEAR! USC WILL BOW DOWN!!! TEXAS WILL BE SHOWN HOW FOOTBALL IS PLAYED!!! BIG 12 DOMINANCE IS BACK JACK!!

....so we thought.

The first 2 games of the season started out pretty decent. Our defense didn't really have signs of issues being we won those simply by our defense. Then came that HUGE game against USC...in which we choked miserably. I lost count on how many holes our defense had before halftime even hit. The second half was a blur considering I was going horse and my blood pressure made me pass out for an hour or so.

Ball State, the very next week, was the game everyone thought we'd have it together. Sure, one bad game doesn't make a season, and our coaching staff should fix those holes by then. Umm...nope. We were almost upended by David Letterman's alma mater. A team that went an impressive 7-6, but lost to teams like Illinois and Central Michigan. Yeah, we were no better than those teams that day. That was also a day I actually heard boo's. Our 'greatest fans in college football' boo'ing our defense as they left the field. And who could blame them. Heck, the whole 2004 season was a better defensive performance than what was displayed that day.

As you know, the rest of the season got worse and worse. I believe we all know what eventually transpired after the Oklahoma State game. Sorry, did I say game?

I guess in a way, we should thank Callahan. Yes, I said that right. Thank him. If not for the bad season, we'd still be seeing him on the sidelines clueless to why his offense is getting schooled. We'd still have Cosgrove giving that good college try to connect to his players by simply glaring and ignoring them as they walked back from being dominated. We'd still see Joe Ganz warming up on the sidelines and never getting called into action due to yet ANOTHER overrated quarterback getting the starting job.

And, we wouldn't have T.O. at the realm healing the wounded program that so desperately needed a Red Bull boost of confidence in which he found in Bo Pelini.

So, thank you 2007, thank you Bill Callahan and company, and thank you Steve Pederson...and don't ever come back.

Smack, right in the kisser!

College football is best known for tons and tons of smack talk between fans. What fun would it be if we didn't smack talk every now and then to remind our rivals who's boss and who's better? I've seen fights between friends on who's team has the best 3rd string water boy. Ok, maybe not that but wouldn't it be great to PROVE once and for all your team is WAY better? How about instead of smack talk, we back it up with actual FACTS! I'm only going to include 2 teams that always have a fan base that talks a lot of smack but can't back it up...ever.
SO Here we go:

National Championsips:
Nebraska - 5
Missouri - 0
Colorado - 1 (5 downs? really?)

Heisman Winners:
Nebraska: 3
Missouri: 0
Colorado: 1

All-time Record:
Against Missouri - Nebraska leads the series 64-35-3
Against Colorado - Nebraska leads the series 46-17-2

Best Record:
Missouri - 12-2 2007
Colorado - 12-2 2001 (not including that fluke nat'l championship)
Nebraska - 1962-2001 2008-present (duh)

Do I need to continue? Ok

Stadiums:
Missouri - Small and sucks (71,004...but never full)
Colorado - Miles above sea level and sucks (53,750...and always filled with drunks)
Nebraska - Awesome, duh (81,067 and growing)

Breath:
Missouri - Awful and smells like rotten meat
Colorado - Awful and smells like ditch weed
Nebraska - Ah, minty fresh

So there. Proof. Stop yammering away on how your team's recent success is the definition of a dynasty. Until you've beaten us year after year after year for 15 or more years like we have against you, it's not worth mentioning.

Plus, you smell.

Big 12? Big 10? Who cares.

Ah, Husker football is among us once again. It is once again time to put on that Husker jersey and wear it with pride. It is once again time to make preparations for who's house is going to host the first game and who's going to dish out the $30 bucks for the pay-per-view channel it's on. It's time once again to buy that coveted NCAA Football game that comes out yearly around this month and see how well represented Nebraska is portrayed...and play Missouri the first chance we get running up the score in the process. That darn Gabbert....ooooohhhh!!!

Yes, Husker fever is starting to transpire. And along with all the hype on the upcoming season, I've been thinking long and hard about this final year in the Big Texas League...i mean Big 12, and wanted to compare a lot of the Big 12 teams to a somewhat dysfunctional family.

Let's start with the weaker half of the division (minus Nebraska of course), the North:

Kansas State - That one cousin that always thinks he's better than you in a lot of aspects but always get's proven wrong time after time.

Kansas - The younger brother whom you loved to tease for 32 years, then bulks up and surprises you with a left hook to the face.

Colorado - Douche bag step brother who thinks they're your equal and thinks they can take you year after year only to get knocked out time after time.

Iowa State - Ex-girlfriend who got lucky with you once.

Missouri - Drunk delusional Uncle who's an embarrassment to be seen with.

There you have it. The North Division in a nut shell. Now, to the South:

Oklahoma - Your wise brother whom you describe as your respected equal (who you beat every now and then)

Oklahoma State - Your rich father-in-law who tries to buy the best stuff money can buy, but never seems to work because in the end he's still a loser.

Texas A&M - That OTHER drunk Uncle who makes you laugh at family get togethers with the assumption that he's funny when you're actually laughing at him because he puked on himself.

Texas Tech - The older brother you try to defend yourself with when he wants to fight, but always seems to kick your teeth in even though you're ten times stronger.

Baylor - Your baby sister.

Texas - Your athletically gifted muscle-toned (possibly lesbian) ugly sister who you despised for years making fun of you, picking on you, and barely beating you in everything thinking they're the beez-neez only to eventually realize you've become faster, stronger, taller, more tone, and more attractive. The beatings and humiliation she once laid upon you will now come to a stop.

See you October 16th Texas.

So there you have it. Texas has replaced Missouri (at least for me) as the most hated team in the Big 12. Family Values will be better in the Big 10, mark my words.

You at least get a better allowance.